Eliza Blank

Describe your hometown.

I grew up in Northampton, Massachusetts, which is a smallish, pretty rural college town. We’re not quite The Berkshires and we’re nowhere near Boston. The town itself is not super diverse. We stood out. There were two camps: there was this ex-pat, New York community that thought Northampton was a cool, hippie town, and then there were the local families who have been there for generations and generations where everyone is sort of a cousin of someone else. Definitely not a large Jewish population.

What is your family like?

My father is from Great Neck. My grandmother, is from Far Rockaway. She’s 93. My grandfather is from Bensonhurst. That’s the Jewish side of my family. My mother is from the Philippines, as are her parents. My mother came over when she was in her early twenties on a nurse exchange program. She had no intention of staying, so she went back home, but then she did a second tour inspired by a friend who signed her up for a program in Brooklyn. My parents met at Downstate Hospital in Brooklyn and they still think New York is super dangerous. It’s just me and my brother. That’s my family. My mother converted. Somewhere along the way, it was spoken that it was important. She grew up Catholic, but I don’t think it was ever something she felt very passionate about. She was happy to convert. I think there’s a very special bond between Asians and Jews as it is, religion aside.

What was it like having a mixed background, especially since Northampton wasn’t very diverse?

I went to private school first through sixth grade and I had Jewish friends there, so I don’t think I understood that I was part of a minority in Northampton. A lot of my friends were Jewish and went to temple and Hebrew School. My parents weren’t totally down to do the after school program, which was probably a 2-3 day a week commitment, which a lot of my friends did. So, I was tutored on and off, here and there. But when I got to the public middle school and high school, it became apparent, “Oh, so this isn’t like a 30% thing, it’s like a 2% thing.”

What are some of your family’s traditions?

We were High Holy Day Jews. My parents tried taking us to temple a couple of times and it never really felt right to them. We would observe Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur and do that at home with a dinner and prayer books. My grandmother’s first cousin’s husband was a rabbi, and he created Haggadahs that we use for Passover and that are very cherished in my family. Hanukkah was always a big deal. When you’re a kid, it’s like, “I get 8 days, and you only get 1!” We still do Hanukkah together, but we pick arbitrary days to celebrate. We do faux Hanukkah or faux Rosh Hashanah, based on when we can get together that’s closest to the actual day. It’s about the cultural aspects. It’s the food, it’s the family time. If we’re together, we do Shabbat. It is something to hold onto.

What was your personality like as a kid?

My secret confession is that I watched a lot of television growing up and I loved it. I still love TV. That being said, my personality then was very similar to how I am today. I’m the founder and CEO of The Sill now and people ask, “What did you want to be when you grew up?” My standard answer is usually, “A boss.” Their response, “How did you know you wanted to be an entrepreneur?” My response again, “Because I’m bossy.” When I wasn’t watching television, I always liked to take the lead on things. I was outgoing, outspoken, and I enjoyed being a good student at school. That was always important to my family — culturally speaking, for both Asians and Jews. It was some combination of being a good student with being naturally bossy and opinionated, I think, that led me to entrepreneurship.

When you got to college, did you have any idea what you wanted your Jewish identity to look or feel like?

My roommate, who also has a Jewish father and converted mother, tried going to a break fast. I remember trying to chase down an experience our freshman year that felt right. We went to Chabad and ended up at a service that segregated the men and the women and we were just like, “Oh, shit. We walked into the wrong place.” We probably walked in and out of 3 places that day and then ended up going to the break fast at the student center. I remember being really disappointed in the bagels. In the years following that, we started our own ritual on Yom Kippur of walking around the city, not actually doing anything religious, trying really hard not to feel hungry until sundown.

What has surprised you the most about being married?

I was 21 when I met Steve, so we’ve been together my entire adult life. It just feels natural to me. I know who’s going to take care of me when I get old, and I don’t have to worry about Tinder. When Steve and I met, I didn’t even have a text plan. I had a flip phone. He actually called me. It was back in the day when you’d be on the phone with someone and you’d talk for an hour, which was so fantastic. I don’t think anything about marriage has totally surprised me. We knew that we wanted the same things and had the same values and, interestingly enough, he has the same background where his father is Jewish and his mother converted. Everybody I know is like that. It’s been nice because Steve does identify with the same level of Judaism that I do. We didn’t have a rabbi marry us, but we signed a ketubah, which was very modern and contemporary and not traditional at all. We plan to raise our kids Jewish.

What are a few things you really love about Steve?

He is so genuinely enthusiastic and optimistic about everything. I underline “genuine.” He’s not fake or false at all. He is actually psyched about stuff and people. And he’s very passionate and an incredibly hard worker. Those are all things that I admire. He is much more light, whereas I’m sort of a heavier person. I need Steve in my life to mellow me out. He’ll do whatever it takes. He loves me very unconditionally.

What’s one thing that really works for you and Steve in your relationship?

We are pretty good about balancing each other’s needs and what’s going on in our lives. If Steve’s going through a tough patch or I’m going through a tough patch, we will put more energy into one another. If there’s a career move that Steve needs to make or a career move that I need to make, we support one another. Steve and I were living in Boston at one point and were already considering moving back to New York, but he was like, “I think I really want to give it at a go at this VC thing and startups,” so we did two years long distance while we were dating. I was able to support him through that transition and then, when I started The Sill, he really had to support me through that. I’m sure our roles will reverse again, which is something I look forward to.

When do you feel like the best version of yourself?

After I’ve had 10 hours of sleep, followed by a big breakfast and then a cup of coffee. So, call it 11am on a Saturday.

What’s your biggest insecurity or fear?

When you’re running a business, insecurity and fear is constant. Thoughts like “this isn’t going to work / I’m not good enough / this is hard / everything is against me,” is the standard running narrative. Every day I try and turn this into motivation. If you’re not hearing that narrative in your head, you have less driving yourself forward. So, for me, if there isn’t constant low grade anxiety, then I’m probably not working hard enough. That’s kind of how I justify it.

What’s the antidote to that?

I’m really resigned to feeling this way. Entrepreneurs have to be OK with being really uncomfortable all the time, and I’m okay with that. I was working incredibly hard at the last job that I had a company and I was like, “If I’m gonna work this hard and stress out this much, it should probably be for myself and not for someone else.” Certainly not for shampoo, which is what I was working on.

Favorite age so far?

Um, now? I hope I always say that. I don’t ever want to look back at my life and say, “It was really awesome when I was 22 and now it sucks.” I like adult status. For a little while, I had this moment where I thought you were sort of special when you’re doing precocious things because you’re young and smart and kind of ahead of your time and now you can’t claim that anymore. Well, no, now you’re just 31 and you have a job like everybody else, like you’re supposed to. We are now doing the things we’re supposed to be doing because we’re actually adults. I’m actually really OK with that. I love being like, “I don’t do that, I’m too old for that.” I don’t need to go out on a Friday night. I’m tired because I work hard.

What’s something that you learned today or this week?

I don’t even know what day it is.

Tuesday.

My business partner and I have spent a good amount of this year working on our relationship, which has been really good for the business. The more we trust one another, the more we get on the same page, the better managers we are and the more we can do independent of one another. He’s a good business partner for me because he’s tough and critical and he pushes me. One piece of advice that my brother gave me was to do one big thing a day and you can always feel good at the end of the day. I feel that way.

Where’s your favorite place on earth?

My grandmother lives in the Adirondacks now and my favorite place on earth is her home. Mostly because of its beauty, but also because of the context. I have a huge history there. Steve proposed to me there and my brother and his wife got married in her backyard, which was the third family wedding we’ve hosted in her home. My parents were the first. It’s a very, very special place. I just wish it were a little bit closer.

What’s your favorite meal?

I’m a sucker for Italian food. I could not get sick of that at all. Steve and I honeymooned in Italy, we’ve been back with my family once. I think food is calorie-free there. I’m pretty sure you can eat as much as you want and it’s fine.

What is your most treasured possession? Or something you can’t live without?

Steve. Even though he’s not a possession, I definitely don’t want to think about living without him. Otherwise, I try not to prescribe too much value to stuff. I literally have drawers in my dresser that are empty. I don’t have a ton of personal stuff that I cling to.

What’s something you’re curious about?

Now that I’m in my 30s, I’m really curious about what my 40s are going to be like. I wish I were like, “Oh, I live in the moment,” but I don’t think anyone really does. I’m curious to see what’s next and what’s going to happen and what the next two years look like and what’s going to happen with the business and starting a family and all that fun stuff. We’re starting to see people in our family and people our age having kids and having families and we’re kind of nervous. I think everybody is like, “Can we do that?” Seems impossible. I had a client who was the most composed, lovely woman in the world and she was pregnant with her third child. I was like, “How in the world?” And she said, “You just do it.” And I asked, “How does it work?” And she answered, “Oh, it doesn’t.” So that’s it! It’s just more chaos. I’m getting practice with the business. I’m really comfortable with being exhausted and stressed and over my limit and freaked out all the time, so now let’s just pile it on. What’s one more thing?

Photos by Tim Gibson.